When I was a teenager, my father told me something I’ve never forgotten:
“You can love your job within an organization, but the organization will never love you back.”
I didn’t fully appreciate his advice at the time. But after decades in corporate life, including experiencing the end of an employment relationship myself, I came to understand what he meant.
There’s an innate desire within us to feel wanted. To know that someone values our presence, enjoys our company, or seeks us out simply because of who we are.
But there’s a difference between an organization needing our contributions and someone genuinely valuing the difference we make in their life.
Think about our professional lives. Organizations need people to fulfill responsibilities, solve problems, and accomplish objectives. We receive salaries, promotions, and performance reviews based largely on how well we meet those needs. Have a great year? We hope for an “exceeds expectations” rating and a higher-than-average merit increase.
But does being needed professionally necessarily satisfy our deeper desire to matter?
An organization can value your work tremendously. But business circumstances can change, and that relationship can end. It’s largely transactional.
That doesn’t mean meaningful relationships can’t develop at work. Of course they can. But the organization itself operates differently from the people within it.
We can spend decades trying to demonstrate our value professionally, only to discover that our most meaningful contributions aren’t necessarily reflected in a job title, salary, or performance review.
For me, many of the experiences that have brought the greatest sense of fulfillment have occurred outside my professional life.
It’s there when I’m preparing a meal at an Interfaith shelter for people recovering from addiction. Or when I’m conducting a mediumship reading and bringing someone messages of connection with a deceased loved one.
For me, that’s truly exceeding expectations.
Those moments aren’t measured by a performance review or a salary increase. But they can leave me with a sense that my presence mattered to someone.
And perhaps that’s what we’re really searching for.
Not simply being useful, but knowing that who we are and what we bring to others can make a difference.
Of course, each of us has to discover where that feeling comes from. For some, it may be through their profession. For others, through family, friendships, service, or something entirely different.
The important question isn’t whether an organization considers us indispensable.
It’s whether we’re building a life in which our presence matters to the people around us.
We all want to matter. But to whom? And are we spending enough of our lives with those people?
