Cultivating gratitude is a transformative practice that can change your perspective on life. Expressing gratitude is more than being polite and saying “thank you.” I often think of the quote by the Roman philosopher and politician Marcus Tullius Cicero, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”
Stoic Perspective on Gratitude
Benefits of Cultivating Gratitude
Practical Strategies for Cultivating Gratitude
- Daily Gratitude Practices: Keeping a Gratitude Journal
- Mindfulness Techniques: Being Present in Moments of Appreciation
- Stoic Exercises: Turning Challenges into Opportunities for Gratitude
Overcoming Obstacles to Gratitude
Incorporating Gratitude into Everyday Life
Gratitude takes the lead among virtues, occupying a prominent position at the head of the table. Being the source of all virtues, it allows us to showcase the very best within us. I have previously discussed this in my videos and blogs on mental health, but it’s challenging to hold onto negative emotions while also cultivating a sense of gratitude. When you are frustrated, angry, or have any negative emotion, inject gratitude. I’m not saying it’s easy to do, only that the opportunity exists for you to do so.
It’s not easy, but searching for gratitude can profoundly affect our mental and emotional well-being and general satisfaction with ourselves and daily life. By appreciating the good in our lives and shifting our focus away from the negative or the things we lack, we can find a more profound sense of joy and fulfillment, getting the most out of life.
Gratitude in Spirituality
Cultivating gratitude allows us to focus on abundance and foster a more positive outlook on the world. In a spiritual context, the concept of gratitude is similar. Expressing gratitude in your spiritual practice can help you enhance your appreciation for and connection with the world, including the higher power you recognize and your connection with your inner self.
In fact, spirituality can actually help you deepen your sense of gratitude. Spirituality is a deeply personal journey that looks different for everyone and can differ depending on your spiritual path or traditions.
Cultivating gratitude in spirituality helps us better understand the interconnectedness of all life and enlightens us about our higher purpose and life’s greater meaning.
Moreover, it can remind us that life is a gift. Think about this for a moment. When you were a child on your birthday, there may have been a time when you received a gift you didn’t necessarily like or want. Regardless of your feelings toward the item, your parent likely told you to be grateful and say, “Thank you.” You can think of the gift of life in that same way.
We should express and cultivate gratitude for our positive and negative experiences, as they all hold value and contribute to our journey toward self-improvement and understanding of the world.
Whether you’re aligned with spiritual traditions rooted in religions such as Christianity or Buddhism or on an individual spiritual path not tied to organized religion, integrating your spirituality with gratitude can help you learn more about yourself and your greater purpose in life.
Stoic Perspective on Gratitude
Cultivating gratitude is also a significant element of the ancient Greek philosophy of Stoicism. Stoicism teaches us to develop self-control and resilience by overcoming negative, destructive emotions as we strive to live more virtuously. Some primary principles of Stoicism include expressing appreciation for the present moment, understanding what you can and cannot control in life, and practicing resilience when faced with obstacles and challenges.
Within the Stoic philosophy, gratitude is a necessary virtue. As Seneca stated, “Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.” When we express gratitude, we deepen our appreciation for life — for all its highs and lows. Cultivating gratitude allows us to focus on the present moment, finding comfort in where we are and what we have rather than worrying about where we aren’t and what we lack.
Stoicism teaches us that cultivating gratitude helps maintain balance in our lives and minds, regardless of external circumstances. Gratitude and the Stoic perspective allow us to find value in every experience we encounter throughout life’s journey.
The Stoic philosophy encourages us to see adversity as an opportunity for growth and express gratitude for our challenges, as these make us stronger and more resilient. Moreover, focusing on what we can control and accepting what we cannot help cultivate gratitude in the face of hardships. Once we learn how to be grateful for our highs and lows, we can unlock a much deeper appreciation for life, as each moment is a gift we should be thankful to experience, for better or worse.
Benefits of Cultivating Gratitude
Cultivating gratitude is powerful as it can impact all aspects of your life and push out negative emotions, replacing them with a newfound sense of positivity and appreciation.
It reminds me of a scene in the classic 1989 movie, “Uncle Buck.” As Uncle Buck, John Candy attends a teenage party to protect his niece. As he makes his way through the party, the iconic “Bust a Move” by Young MC is playing in the background. He receives perplexed looks from the teens and soon becomes the center of attention.
This scene mirrors the power of gratitude amid other negative emotions. Gratitude, like a new guest, has arrived at the “party of negativity.” Clear the way or depart, everyone!
We all can benefit from cultivating gratitude. Some of the most significant benefits include:
- Psychological Effects
- Emotional Resilience
- Improving Social Relationships
1. Psychological Effects
Ample research has found that gratitude can significantly improve mental well-being. Studies show cultivating gratitude leads to reduced stress, improved mental health conditions, a more positive mindset, more motivation to improve yourself and your quality of life, and better identification and regulation of emotions.
Cultivating gratitude also has health benefits beyond the psychological. The American Heart Association has indicated that credible evidence suggests expressing gratitude can improve sleep quality, boost your immune system, decrease chronic pain and disease risk, and even lower blood pressure.
2. Emotional Resilience
Cultivating gratitude helps us improve emotional resilience by exhibiting strength in times of difficulty. Emotional resilience doesn’t mean you’re unreactive to troublesome times. Instead, it indicates your ability to adapt and cope with challenges and offers a buffer between you and negative emotions that can pull you down if you’re not careful.
Gratitude offers us a more positive outlook on life. It forces us to focus on what’s good right now, which makes it difficult to simultaneously focus on what may not be as good.
3. Improving Social Relationships
Gratitude can also improve social dynamics, helping us strengthen relationships and build solid community bonds. Expressing gratitude toward someone lets them know you value their time and contributions. This simple act of recognizing the efforts of another person helps build connections and create a social environment where everyone feels appreciated.
Individual moments of expressing gratitude can also have a ripple effect in communities. Letting someone know you appreciate them and are grateful for what they do will make them feel good. Often, they’ll be motivated to continue the work or behavior that made you feel so thankful to them in the first place. This sets a positive tone, inspiring others to do the same, thus creating a cycle of gratitude that leads to a more supportive, cohesive community.
Consider replacing the overused phrase “Thank you” with “I’m grateful for you.” This practice can enhance the well-being of your family and work relationships.
By doing so, you avoid “Thank you” becoming a casual and overlooked phrase. You will notice a shift in the energy levels of those around you and within yourself. I have used the phrase “I’m grateful” with my teammates in the workplace to acknowledge their excellent work, and I truly believe it showed how much I genuinely valued them.
Practical Strategies for Cultivating Gratitude
This may sound like an exaggerated claim to some, but gratitude can change your life. It can reframe your outlook to one that’s more positive, allow you to connect deeper to the world and people around you, and help you be more present and appreciative of the current moment.
So, how can you start experiencing all of these benefits? These are some of my practical strategies for cultivating gratitude:
- Daily Gratitude Practices: Keeping a Gratitude Journal
- Mindfulness Techniques: Being Present in Moments of Appreciation
- Stoic Exercises: Turning Challenges into Opportunities for Gratitude
1. Daily Gratitude Practices: Keeping a Gratitude Journal
Starting a gratitude journal is an excellent way to develop a more grateful mindset.
I once had a client who was struggling with his job and couldn’t see any benefits to staying there. His cynicism and negativity were evident, so I suggested he keep a gratitude journal. For 30 days, he would write something he appreciated about his work daily. While it didn’t completely change his perspective on his job, it significantly changed how he viewed his colleagues and work.
He started finding more meaning in his job and became more engaged. The secret to this exercise is actively searching for something to be grateful for, just like when you’re looking for a specific car to buy, and suddenly you notice it everywhere. Try this exercise if you’re stuck in a negative cycle with your spouse, work, or anything else causing you to spiral downwards.
2. Mindfulness Techniques: Being Present in Moments of Appreciation
Practicing mindfulness allows us to be fully present in and appreciative of the current moment. Techniques like deep breathing, spending time in nature, and meditation help us gain awareness of the things for which we have to be grateful. Practicing mindfulness allows us to understand our current emotions and, when faced with negative ones like frustration, envy, or anger, we can choose to bring gratitude into the picture.
Learning to appreciate the little things helps us find peace and comfort in our current state. Finding a mindfulness practice that resonates with you can ground you and help carry you through life’s more challenging moments.
3. Stoic Exercises: Turning Challenges into Opportunities for Gratitude
Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, “Don’t hanker after what you don’t have. Instead, fix your attention on the finest and best that you have, and imagine how much you would long for these if they weren’t in your possession. At the same time, don’t become so attached to things that you would be distraught if you were to lose them.”
Negative visualization, or premeditatio malorum, is an ancient practice in the Stoic philosophy that paradoxically fosters gratitude. Essentially, it involves imagining the loss of specific people or possessions, like the absence of loved ones, losing one’s job, or facing a life-threatening illness. By engaging in this “What if” scenario, you can truly appreciate what you currently have and break free from the mentality of entitlement or conditional happiness.
Overcoming Obstacles to Gratitude
Despite its immense value for our overall well-being, gratitude often remains underutilized and overlooked. Instead, humans usually gravitate towards destructive emotions such as greed, cynicism, and envy. Pride is considered the worst of the seven deadly sins, yet ingratitude might be a close companion.
Here are a few examples of situations met with comments that lack gratitude, as they focus on the 10% of the cup that is empty rather than the 90% that is full:
- You received a positive performance review and a 3% annual salary raise. Someone lacking a sense of gratitude may say, “Well, 3% was just the average raise. I believe I deserved a higher raise.”
- Perhaps you own a boat, and one of your friends compliments it and suggests how nice it must be to have a boat to enjoy during the summer. A response that lacks gratitude may sound like, “Yeah, but my boat is getting old, and I’m tired of the maintenance. You should see my neighbor’s boat; it’s truly impressive.”
- Perhaps you’re fortunate enough that your parents pay for your college tuition, and you don’t have to work while attending school. An ungrateful response could be, “Sure, but it’s just a community college. I really wanted to attend a 4-year college.”
Can you identify the underlying theme in the above examples?
It’s the emphasis on something or someone that is lacking. We all engage in this behavior to some extent. While we may not express our ingratitude verbally, it can seep into our thoughts. It’s as if we deny ourselves permission to acknowledge the positives in our situations and feel grateful for what we have.
Negative thought patterns and habits prevent us from cultivating gratitude. Therefore, we need to become aware of these patterns, make a conscious effort to change them, and develop a more positive mindset.
Unfortunately, there will be times in life when we encounter ungrateful people. Much like our own thoughts can bring us down, so too can the energy of others.
Depending on your relationship with the person, you can call out the ungratefulness you witness. But do it with kindness and civility. Yelling, “You’re so ungrateful,” won’t do anything but cause the dysfunction to continue. As stated in the New Testament in the Book of Luke, Christ says, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.” If God is kind even to those who exhibit ungratefulness, we must follow the same example.
Remember that the ungrateful person is ultimately damaging themselves mentally and spiritually. As the Stoic philosopher Seneca said, “…no man, if he be ungrateful, will be unhappy in the future. I allow him no day of grace; he is unhappy forthwith.”
To put it differently, Seneca suggests that those who lack gratitude are unhappy immediately. They are responsible for their present unhappiness as they immerse themselves in their self-made negativity.
Incorporating Gratitude into Everyday Life
Cultivating gratitude can help us forge a pathway to a more fulfilling life. Finding ways to appreciate the good in our lives creates a more positive environment where we’re comfortable and content and see life through an abundance mindset.
Shifting our focus to appreciate all the good in our lives helps us live more fully and joyfully. However, there are times when cultivating gratitude can feel difficult or even impossible. Think about people who may be suffering from grief or trauma. How can they experience gratitude?
It is important for those who have experienced loss to go through the grieving process. This is a natural and expected part of healing. However, as time goes on and healing progresses, there may come a moment when gratitude begins to emerge, like the sun peeking through the clouds. Of course, this is not easy, and it takes time.
For example, after losing a loved one, there will eventually come a time when you find solace in the precious years you spent together. You may still feel sadness, but an immense feeling of gratitude can emerge later.
Conclusion
Cultivating gratitude, an intelligent emotion, can give our daily lives more meaning. Exploring ways to cultivate gratitude through spirituality, Stoicism, and mindfulness practices helps us appreciate the good in life and improve our overall well-being.
When you express gratitude, you ultimately enhance your well-being. Take a moment to appreciate the things and people in your life for which you are grateful. It may not always be easy, especially during challenging times, but it can transform your life.
Don’t limit gratitude to just Thanksgiving; every day can be an opportunity to give thanks. And don’t forget, when you are caught in a negative spiral, which we all experience, rely on gratitude to bring you back up. I’m not implying that it’s a simple task — just that there is a chance for you to do it. And don’t forget to “Bust a Move” as you embrace gratitude in your life because the dance of life undeniably calls for it.
